Short journal...


I've been struggling a while now.
I haven't told anyone, but I'm tired and I can't stop crying.

Compared to how I have been this is nothing. My mum is constantly on about how much she worries and she keeps asking me if I'm on drugs. I'm not, and I'll be fine.

I'm no danger to myself right now and even if I was I wouldn't want to change. It's who I am.

The last few days I've been thinking a lot about Japan. Most things just feel wrong right now. Like something is missing or I'm not where I should be doing what I should be doing.
I miss them all. Otousan, Okaasan, Onicha, Yuuma, Marlena. I spoke to Lieu the other day on msn. I miss her so much. She told me she met Onicha when she went to Thailand. I wish I had been there.

We all had something together. We were alone in a country that was new to us and they were all I had. I'm so sorry. After I came out of hospital I've hardly had contact with anyone.
I feel so horrible. I'm a bad person and I don't know if I dare to change.

I'm sorry to all of you. Love you all.

Miss you all.

~ Night